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Self Help: Develop Inner Resilience


When traumatic events occur, the right self-help approach can be your savior. Midnight, in the middle of winter, ski instructor Stu Diver had to listen -- helpless -- as his wife Sally drowned by his side. Stu and Sally were engulfed in a landslide while sleeping in their ski lodge in Thredbo, Australia. They were trapped beneath several metres of rubble and mud.

Then water burst from the pipes, and Stu found himself trapped in the horror of listening to his wife's death. Silence followed. For more than two days Stu lay immobilised alongside his dead wife, in sub-zero temperatures before rescuers heard him.

Freeing him took another 12 hours.

Stu later said, 'In my heart I knew it was Sally's will, her resilience of spirit, that gave me the strength I needed to hold on when all logic told me hope had vanished.'

How did Stu manage such resilience in the face of this trauma? By confronting his sadness directly. In an effort to rebuild his life, Stu returned to Thredbo--even buying a house overlooking the site.

He says, 'Some people might think it's strange, but I don't. Thredbo is a small place and if I'm going to live here, I have to get used to it.'

Self Help: How to Develop Inner Resilience

Stu instinctively understood that resilience means healing yourself of trauma, and that healing begins when we confront our sadness without resistance.

The best therapist I ever met was brillant at getting her clients to do this. As soon as a client connected to his inner sadness, loss, or disappointment, she'd stop him from talking and say, 'Let yourself have that feeling.' He'd breathe a major sigh of relief, and let himself have the sadness. Healing soon followed.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Lisa Brown

Advanced Self Help Institute
#106, 527 - 15 Ave SW
Calgary, Alberta  T2R 1R5
Phone: (403) 261-2726
Fax: (403) 261-2725
Email: info@lisabrown.ca