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Self Help: How to Neutralize the Office Bully (part 1)

Here's exactly what to say and do to neutralize the office bully.

Step 1. Immediately say the phrase, "Fair enough."

This suggests the person you are dealing with is a reasonable person, which calms him down.

Step 2. Find at least 10% of what the person is saying to agree with.

I've never known anyone to be 100% wrong. If you agree with him, this diffuses the situation. If you disagree with him, he'll become more entrenched in his position and more stubborn. It's just human nature.

Here's an example of Steps 1 and 2 together:

Client: "Lisa, this seminar sucks. Not only did you brush me off this morning when I tried to say Hello to you, but I'm not getting anything out of it."

Lisa: "Fair enough. Sometimes at the beginning of a seminar I'm a little preoccupied with getting the equipment set up and I'm not as good a listener as I should be. I'm sorry about that.

However, the most important problem seems to be that you feel as though you're wasting your time here."

Notice that I didn't agree that the seminar sucks. I agreed that I was a little pre-occupied and showed empathy for the fact that he is not enjoying the seminar.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Lisa B.

[ Part 1 | Part 2 ]

Advanced Self Help Institute
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