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Self Help: How to Say No to Your Boss Without Arousing Hostility


It's a common problem in self-help: you have several bosses and they all want you to finish their priorities first (Or one boss who acts like all your projects are equally urgent). You want to excel, but short of cloning yourself, you cannot finish every task immediately.

How do you say no without arousing hostility in your boss?

Self-Help: The Commit-to-Commit strategy

You solve the problem by using the self-help strategy called "commit-to-commit."

When you commit to commit, you don't answer a request with just a simple Yes or No. Instead, you communicate with her to manage your commitments effectively.

Here's the 3 step Commit-to-Commit strategy:

Boss: Can you update the website?

Step 1: Immediately Agree to the Priority

This relaxes her because you are not showing resistance.

You: Absolutely.

Step 2: Take Control of the Conversation

Next, you take control of the conversation by asking questions. Your goal is to determine all the tasks involved and when they must be completed by. This way, you create a hierarchy of priorities. This is also a good time to clarify her expectations for the project.

You: Absolutely. So I can organize myself, which items in the project are the most urgent?

Boss: We need to code the site so customers can pay online right away. I need that done today. The new staff bios can wait until the end of the week.

Step 3: Negotiate for Time

Now you negotiate for time so that you can realistically accommodate all your bosses and customers.

You: Great. I'll make the changes to the online payment section right away. Would it be okay if I completed the bios by Monday? This will give me time to collect photos from several employees.

Boss: Yes, that's fine. Thank you for being organized.

You can use the commit-to-commit strategy to relieve your stress and build your reputation as a proactive leader at work.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Lisa B.

Advanced Self Help Institute
#106, 527 - 15 Ave SW
Calgary, Alberta  T2R 1R5
Phone: (403) 261-2726
Fax: (403) 261-2725
Email: info@lisabrown.ca