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Self Help: Living Your Best Life (part 3)
In my last self-help article on living your best life, I said that most of your negative emotions come from one source: not getting what you want. Therefore, to maximize your happiness, you should arrange your life so you get what you want as often as possible.
The first step in living your best life is deciding what you want by setting specific goals. Last time, I asked you to set 3 goals that mattered to you. Now you face the next hurdle: the fact that you cannot GUARANTEE you will reach your goals. Why? Because you cannot control complex life situations.
Example: if your goal is to get a promotion or make more money, you are only 50% of the equation. Your boss or clients may have a different agenda than you, and you cannot control them directly.
Even most emotions are not under our control; they are instinctive responses that arrive unbidden from deep in the unconscious. Upon realizing this, most people fall to pessimism. Gradually, they begin to back away from their goals.
However, the fact that you cannot control other people does not have to be a problem for you IF you know how to handle it.
Self Help: The Next Step in Manifesting Your Desires
The next step is what top performers do. When challenges arise, mentally tough men and women are very careful about how they invest their energy. Your job at this point is to invest your energy in the part of your goal you CAN control.
This is what track superstar Marion Jones did in the 2000 Olympics. Everyone predicted Marion would win 5 gold medals.
In her first race, the 200M, the media was doing its job creating drama. As the cameras zeroed in on Jones warming up, the announcer began talking about how the entire nation's hopes were pinned on Jones to bring home gold. He turned to
color commentary analyst Michael Johnson (former Olympic medalist in track) and said,
"All eyes are focused on Marion Jones as she gets set to start her race. WHAT is going through her mind right now?"
The camera panned to Michael. It was obvious he thought he had just been asked the most ridiculous question of all time. Politely, he replied, "Well, I'd imagine she's thinking about how to get a good start out of the blocks."
A world-class athlete himself, Michael knew instinctively that Marion's best focus would NOT be the cameras, the fans, or even her opponents, since she could not control them. He knew that the only way she could win would be to focus on a goal under her control.
The 200 M is a short race. If you get a good start, you're more likely to win,
especially if you're Marion (by the way, she did win).
Self Help: Your Mental Toughness Assignment
Take your goal and separate it into two parts: the elements you can control and the elements you cannot. For the next 7 days, take action ONLY on the part of the goal you can control. Do not think about, talk about, or obsess about the aspects of your goal that you cannot control directly.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa B.
[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 ]
Advanced Self Help Institute
#106, 527 - 15 Ave SW
Calgary, Alberta T2R 1R5
Phone: (403) 261-2726
Fax: (403) 261-2725
Email: info@lisabrown.ca |
