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Self Help: Stop Your Divorce (part 2)

In my last self-help article on how to stop your divorce, I explained that there are 5 relationship mistakes. I also said that if you want to get the relationship back on track, you must determine which ones were most prevalent in your marriage. 

This is your most important job right now. If you have been pressuring your spouse to get back together, stop doing this immediately. Your partner will not genuinely consider what you have to say unless you realize which mistakes you're making--and corrected them.

Assuming you are separated (and your lawyer is OK with you dating), call your spouse and say, "I've been pressuring you to get back together, and I finally realize that this is making you uncomfortable because it's not what you want. Although I'd prefer to stay married to you, I can see you're not happy. So, I've decided to accept your decision and start dating. But I don't want to make the same mistakes I did with you, so I have a couple of questions I hoped you'd answer."

Then, read to her the 5 mistakes on this list. Ask her which ones apply to your marriage. Listen to her and take excellent notes. Resist the temptation to defend yourself (it could be overwhelming).

Instead, ask her for examples of what she is talking about. For instance, if she says that you were selfish at the expense of her needs, ask her exactly how you were selfish.

Thank her for sharing her thoughts, and hang up.

After this conversation, you will be in a much better position. You will have accomplished 3 main things:

• You will have taken the pressure off her, making her more relaxed around you. You have also shown confidence by backing off. 
• You will finally have an opportunity to fix the relationship mistakes.
• You'll be far less confused about why she (or he) left. This is a major part of the pain of a divorce: not knowing exactly what happened to turn the other person off.

In the course, you will learn the mental toughness and communication strategies you need to be successful with your spouse-and anyone else you wish to have a fulfilling relationship with. You will also discover how to take any goal and achieve it with in a 30 day time frame with my personalized coaching.

For details on the course curriculum, click here:

http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html

Your friend,
Lisa B.

[ Part 1 | Part 2 ]

Advanced Self Help Institute
#106, 527 - 15 Ave SW
Calgary, Alberta  T2R 1R5
Phone: (403) 261-2726
Fax: (403) 261-2725
Email: info@lisabrown.ca